*Sings “Take me out to the ball game”
Has anyone ever asked you “what base” you “got to” with your new crush? There are a lot of baseball terms that used when talking about sex, like “home runs” and “strikeouts.”
Because baseball is a sport, baseball terminology is aggressive, goal-directed, and competitive. That’s okay for a sport, but doesn’t work well for talking about sex.
The way we talk about sexual activity and consent needs to be reframed, and Al Vernacchio explains that using a pizza analogy might actually work better.
Think about it. When you order a pizza, you probably want to have a satisfying, fulfilling, and a shared experience with discussion and agreement.*
We have an internal sense, desire, need, and control over when and what to eat. So, you eat when you are hungry for it and until you’re satisfied. When ordering a pizza together with a partner, we’re not competing but actively collaborating on what is satisfying to the both of us. We talk about what toppings we like and negotiate which to order.
Ordering pizza is similar to consent. Consent is an informed, knowing, and voluntary agreement to engage in sexual activity. Consent during sex ensures every person feels excited to be there without the risk of violating one another’s safety, trust, or comfort. Consensual sexual activity allows for bodily autonomy which creates trusting and connected relationships as well as, safe environments.
It takes different amounts of pizza to fulfill different people,
There are various types of pizza topping combinations and ways to eat it,
And is enjoyed on different days, at different times
None of these preferences are wrong! The options just ensure that there is an enjoyable pizza experience for everyone. Think about what it is you want, what feels satisfying, and talk about it with your partner.
Need a little practice? Sign up here to attend Hungry for Consent? on Tuesday, August 28th at 6:30 to 8 PM, in the MSC Ballrooms!
The FIRST 100 students to sign-up and stay at the event get a FREE “Got Consent?” t-shirt. Check-in starts at 6:15pm! Join us for a slice of Consent conservations, FREE pizza, photo booth, and MORE!